2005-03-16 - 8:08 a.m.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been reading everyone else's posts but it's usually when I'm holding/nursing the baby and that makes it difficult for me to type.

Things have been going really well. Evie has officially hit the 6 week mark, and she's smiling now, although she only graces us with such pleasures in the late evenings and early mornings.

My spare time has been consumed with starting a business. I go back to work in 5 1/2 weeks only to quit, thereby significantly reducing our income. I have no choice but to be creative about making up for that income and since I've always wanted to be self-employed, I figured it's time.

After cleaning the house and doing errands, I pretty much have 2 hours a day I can dedicate to business stuff. I have been cramming those two hours with research and brainstorming. My goal is to get things ready to launch right when I return to work. Hopefully I will have some clients by the time I quit.

I'm also officially starting a diet today. After 6 weeks of pigging out on whatever I want, I still weigh 150. I think if I just eat a bit healthier, the weight will come off easily. The problem is that I've had little time to cook my normally healthy meals, so we've been subsisting on take-out and crappy food. So today I will go grocery shopping and while my Mom watches the baby, I will cook as much food in advance as possible.

I also joined the gym and plan on starting up my exercise program next week. When I'll find time to go though I have no clue. When Evie's 8 weeks old, I can drop her off at their daycare. I'm a little nervous about that but at least I'll be there with her.

C. is leaving town for two nights next week. I'm a little nervous since I'll be by myself with the baby for over 48 hours. I'm not used to having that much uninterrupted mommy and baby time. I must admit, by the time C. gets home at night, I am desperate for a little mommy time. So we'll see how it goes next week. Hopefully I won't have a nervous breakdown.

I have also been thinking a lot lately about spirituality. Perhaps it's seeing the miracle of life before my eyes but I realize that I've really let my spiritual side slide into neglect. I'm considering attending the Unitarian church, but I'm nervous because Evie is still so young, and I worry that she'll disrupt the service. Also, I've though a lot about how I'm going to raise Evie spiritually. I want to teach her that the world and everything is comprised of both masculine and feminine (in my mind, best represented by the god and goddess) but I worry that the in-laws will flip the first time she mentions goddesses. And yet, as a female, I think it's so important to teach my daughter that there is a feminine energy that is divine, a feminine energy that she can tap into and look to for inspiration.

All of this is further complicated by the fact that I'm relatively unsure about my own spiritual beliefs. I tend to believe a bit of this and a bit of that. My view of spirituality is definitely unique. How can I teach her spirituality without cramping her own style or potential to develop her own unique views?

Luckily I have a while yet to think about these things.

I miss all of you and promise to try and be better about updating.

Love,
nancy

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Moving to a new home - 2005-03-28
Grumpy mommy - 2005-03-17
at last - an update! - 2005-03-16
Ahh - spring is upon us - 2005-03-01
I finally have a spare 5 minutes. - 2005-02-26